Can True Love Still be Found in Today's World?
98From ancient times to the present true love, or the bonding of two people in a life long union, has always existed and, for most, has always been the sought for ideal. Unfortunately, a number of people down through the ages, have been unable to find true love.
However, despite the fact that, from ancient times to the present, there have been people who have not found true love, the majority of people throughout history probably have found true love or something close to it.
The question in this request, in todays time do we see true love among people?, implies that true love barely exists or is in danger of vanishing in the present time.
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However, one possible answer to this that true love is so common,
both today and in the past, that we don't notice it. What we do notice
are the exceptions or the cases of people where true love doesn't
exist.
Like the old journalist adage man bites dog is newsworthy while dog bites man is not newsworthy. Divorces and messy breakups are the exception and are thus newsworthy while happy marriages are common and don't stand out.
Love Defined
In the case of love there is also the problem of definition. There are three definitions that have historically been used and these are:
Eros - this is generally defined as sexual attraction and is the main theme of romance literature. Eros is exciting and is what provides the spice in a loving relationship. It is also a great theme in art and literature as well a sales and marketing.
Sex sells as any modern day marketer desiring to sell anything from laundry detergent (the term soap opera has been used to describe the half hour long, ongoing TV shows dealing with romance and infidelity not because soap is the theme of the show but because their purpose is to attract an audience to view the laundry detergent commercials that originally sponsored these shows) to automobiles knows.
While Eros is exciting and is great for bringing people together, it is both self centered and short lived. Under the influence of Eros, a person seeks to satisfy their own desires. Of course for normal people, the object of one's desire either begins to feel the same erotic attraction in which each is then seeking to satisfy their desire with the other or the other fails to respond which causes the desire to die in the first one.
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Also, once one gets to know the person of their desire, the mystery begins to disappear and with it, much of the initial raw sexual desire. Of course in a long term relationship Eros can be made to periodically appear and rejuvenate the relationship, but Eros is too demanding and too self centered to maintain a long term relationship by itself.
Agape - Agape love is in some ways the opposite of Eros in that the focus shifts from concerns for one's own desires to those of the object of his or her love. Like Eros, Agape love is very selective as to the object of its love, but with Agape love the lover derives satisfaction from meeting the needs and making their lover happy rather than focusing on their own happiness and desires. This is like the Biblical command to give and you shall receive (Luke 6:38).
Agape love does not have the same intensity as Eros and this makes it ideal for a long term sustainable relationship. While Eros is like an adventure toward a goal in which the adventure ends when the goal is achieved, once a lover meets the object of his or her desire and satisfies that desire the intense erotic feelings tend to disappear.
Agape is concerned with the more mundane job of tending to the day to day little things of maintaining a loving relationship a task that, while requiring focus and work, is less intense and less self centered.
Philia - or Platonic love, like Eros and Agape, is an ancient Greek term which is used to describe friendship which is a special type of relationship between people.
Friendship is a relationship between two
people that does not involve sex and has elements of both Eros and
Agape love in that, in the short run, friendship can be mostly one way
with help and support being given without the expectation of receiving
while in the long run most friendships will dissolve without some sort
of reciprocity.
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True Love is Alive and Well Today - It is Just Not That Visible
When people talk about true love they usually have the image of a long term, loving relationship in mind. However, this is not what is most prominent in the information we receive each day. Marital breakups, spousal abuse, infidelity, etc. are the focus of attention while the fact that far more people are going about their daily lives happily married is usually overlooked. This is true of both the media and plain old gossip.
The fact that a co-worker, neighbor, relative, friend, etc. is having problems or has done something wrong makes for good gossip, or the evening news if it is big enough and juicy enough.
While the fact that many more people we know are happily going about their daily lives rarely merits comment. In fact the only time such everyday things stand out is when they are the exception - when the rest of the neighbors are filing for divorce and the Joneses remain happily married that might warrant a comment or when all of the couples in a group except for one couple spend all their time bickering with each other, then the one couple that is not bickering will have some limited gossip value. However, things that are tragic or wrong or both make for far more interesting topics for journalists and gossips than good things.
Also, because it is more exciting, Eros has long been a theme for art and literature while Agape, being more common and more mundane, is usually only discussed in self-help books.
This is why almost every story, novel, stage play and movie dealing with romance ends with And they lived happily ever after. However, had the author continued on to describe living happily ever after they would have put the audience/reader to sleep because, while living happily ever after is great for those is great for oneself, it is boring to read about or view it in others. Sure, we may be happy for them and even be slightly envious of what they have, but for entertaining diversion most of us want something with more action, suspense and tragedy.
It is Natural to Take Common Things for Granted
This is not to say that we don't see the numerous examples of true love around us, it is just that they are so common that they don't register. It is like the drive to work every day in which we drive the same route at the same time and, hopefully, see everything.
Most of what we see on such trips is the same so it is not something to remember and talk about - what we see is usually what we expect to see. What we remember and talk about are the exceptions - the new building going up, the driver that cuts us off (have you ever heard anyone at work describe the number of drivers around them who drove as they should? - no, it is always the idiot who cuts us off who we talk about with our co-workers), the good road conditions (unless they are the exception), the sunshine, etc.
If we stop and look around we will find numerous examples of little things that loving couples do regularly for each other. Most of these are too small and insignificant, to others, to notice. But to the spouse they are big and it is the regular attention to these tiny details by each spouse, that leads to the the true love that we all long for.
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Even Divorce Has Elements of Hope for Love
Even with today's high divorce rate (although the statistics still show the divorce rate being smaller than the number of long term, stable marriages) we can still see a pattern of love in many divorces. This is, of course, mostly of the Philia or Platonic love variety rather than Eros or Agape. But not all divorces or bitter or, despite starting out that way, often don't remain bitter. While divorce itself is tragic in that the couple could not overcome their differences and remain married, many still maintain a friendly relationship.
Usually this is for the children but that is an act of love in that they are able to set aside their personal differences and maintain a relationship in which to raise the children. But there are also many instances here of going beyond cooperating and being nice to each other for the children's sake, and helping the other in both small and big ways when needed. Again, this is classic friendship but, in this case, it remains a still burning ember of what was once a real love.
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My Great Uncle's Loving Example
Finally, in thinking of lasting love I am always reminded of my great-Uncle Walt's love for my great-Aunt Helen. They had a long marriage that in no way was unusual until the end.
As they approached their fiftieth wedding anniversary, my Aunt began to become forgetful - it was probably the onset of Alzheimer's but that had not been classified as a disease at that time so her condition was passed off as old age or hardening of the arteries.
As her condition worsened my uncle, who was retired, took over all of the household management and increasingly acted as her caregiver. Finally she had a couple of strokes which left her partially crippled and unable to articulate words.
My uncle had to put her in a nursing home as he could no longer adequately care for her alone. However, for the next ten years he spent every day, seven days a week, by her bedside talking with her from the time the facility opened for visitors at about 8:00 a.m. to closing at about five or six in the evening.
He remained happy and very positive both with my Aunt and with the rest of the family. He didn't just sit by her bedside and feed her (which he did himself every day as she lacked the coordination to do this herself) but he carried on a cheerful conversation with her all day and was always buoyed by the slightest change in response from her - a different movement of an eye or her head (neither of which she had much control over) an inflection in the sound she could make with her vocal cords (again, the strokes left her unable to form words with her mouth), etc.
Despite his age (he was in his 80s), my uncle remained spry and active in addition to his daily bedside vigils with my aunt. He continued to drive, attended family functions, helped others in the family with taxes and financial advice, corresponded with some of my cousins and me while we were away at college and researched and began writing his family history.
The family felt sorry for his burden and, while all of us admired his sacrifice for my aunt most felt his efforts were in vain as, to everyone but him, she seemed totally unaware of her surroundings. But he didn't feel this way and continued on certain that he was doing the best for my aunt and, in retrospect, actually enjoying his time spent with her.
Then, in his early 90s my uncle was briefly hospitalized for minor surgery. When he was released his sister picked him up an took him to her home for, what was assumed to be a short period of recovery. However, upon reaching her home he lay down for a nap and died of a heart attack in his sleep.
Except for the damage from her strokes and her loss of memory, my aunt, who was also in her 90s, was basically healthy and the doctors predicted that she would live another five or ten years. However, she died in her sleep a couple of weeks later.
It was obvious that, despite her outward condition, she was conscious of her husband's presence and love and that is what had been keeping her alive for the previous ten years in the nursing home. Without him she no longer had a reason to live.
Ironically, in retrospect I have come to believe that, despite my uncle's apparent sacrifices for her during her long illness and the good health he enjoyed, that their relationship was mutual. If my aunt had died earlier I think my uncle would have followed her soon after. In a way my invalid aunt kept my uncle alive just as he had kept her alive.
True Love Still Exists, We Just Have to Look for It
So, to the original question, in today's time do we still see true love among people? my answer is YES and I think that we can do no better than to paraphrase the line in the old New York Sun newspaper columnist Frank Church's wrote in his classic article, Yes Virginia There is a Santa Claus, and say:
Yes, true love still exists. It exists as certainly as caring and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy.
Do You Believe That True Love Still Exists Today
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True love is a dream that can never be caught
Indeed, it is possible. What a beautiful hub.
sunkentreasure - thanks for the inspiring comment. Much of what you said here is well known but doesn't work unless it is reviewed and practiced regularly.
Your comment is a great reminder of the many little things we need to think about and start DOING daily in order to build the type of loving relationship we long for. We have to give in order to receive.
Thanks again for your great advice.
SECRETS OF LOVE By BERNARD LEVINE
Make your love one feel special everyday.
Do not allow your lives to become routine -
prepare lots of different activities to enjoy.
Never take your loved one for granted.
Keep your love forever precious,
sacred and beautiful.
What you put into your love
is what you will get out of your love.
Enrich your lives with prayer.
Always be your partners best friend.
© Bernard Levine
Lyra - thanks for you comment. However, with all due respect, I totally disagree with your assumption as to my great-aunt and uncle's relationship.
I knew my great-aunt and uncle quite well and not only did I never notice anything my great-uncle's character to indicate that would indicate that he would mistreat or harm any woman, let alone his wife, there was also nothing in my great-aunt's character that would indicate she would tolerate such behavior in any man, let alone her husband.
While I don't deny that there are men, and some women, who abuse and mistreat their spouses, I think that the majority of people are decent and that true love still exists. For myself, I know that true love exists as I have a wonderful wife who I love dearly and who loves me equally.
I hate to deflate this inspirational story, but...Chuck, how much did you REALLY know about your great-uncle's relationship with his wife? How many times had he called her vile names? Struck her? Cheated on her? Of course you can't claim with certainty that he did none of these things. I can't prove that he did either, but looking at the statistics for abuse and affairs that are brought to light, it is FAR more likely that this is a case of something being covered up or someone not getting caught than a relationship that actually worked. Your great-uncle's attentions were probably due to guilt over past betrayals or the simple boredom that many elderly experience. Please don't use this story as evidence of "true love" unless you can prove beyond doubt that it was.
I believe true love doesn't exists in todays world....
if they showing sincerity its because you are a perfect marriage material.. not more.
Sometimes love can be a cyclical thing. With romantic love you can go through phases where love changes, it does not make it any less real, but we all have experienced this at some time. For example, passionate love can give way to a deeper love based on companionship. Maybe marriages and relationships end in today's society because people expect it to be like it was at the start. This is not realistic. Great hub, gave me a lot of food for thought!
This is a Great hub that attracted some the finest people as well I must add.
I believe true love still exists you may sometimes have to look for it but I think there is true love out there for everyone.
Love isn't blind or deaf or dumb - in fact it sees far more than it will ever tell. It is going beyond yourself and stretching who you are for someone else. Being in love entails seeing someone as you wish they were: to love them is to see who they really are and still care for them. Love isn't bitter, but you can't have love without pain: sacrifice is the hallmark of love , the coin of love.
Being in love usually is used in a romantic sense when you meet your significant other transforming a normal relationship into a deeper one without further interest in others.
Love means that you trust the person, would do anything for the person, know that person is with you through thick and thin, isn't afraid to be seen with you. make sure they treat you right.
The meaning of love is prolonged mutual protection. Love is real when it is found. It is free when it is grasped. Can you tell with a kiss? Love is the magic/mutual in a kiss. There is no magic in a kiss if there is no love/mutual within it. A kiss with magic has no forced for love makes it gentle.
Great hub by u, voted up
Yes of course true love still exists.
that is so true. Nobody cares about all they wants successful but dreadful ones.
We can always find true love as long as we can find some one like you :)
Hi Chuck,
I really loved this sentence "Even Divorce Has Elements of Hope for Love." Love really doesn't end, unfortunately we compromise our love for "life" ( particularly the responsibilities.) But at the end, it hurts.
Hey Chuck
Thank you you for writing a great hub and I believe true love always exist and whatever is true is love. The time we start conceptualizing LOVE,it starts vanishing. Unfortunately human mind is made to convert everything to a concept.That's why we see a wave among young generation that true love doesn't exist. But as you say love always existed and will keep surviving. Thank you again for such a lovely hub.
padmendra - thanks for your comment and for sharing the story of your friend.
However, optimist that I am, I still feel that true love is as available today as in the past. However, one has to work at it as the easiest way to lose true love is to take it for granted.
History and literature are full of stories of people working and sacrificing for love (Romeo & Juliet, Helen of Troy, Tristan and Isolde, etc.). History and Literature are also full of tragic stories of broken hearts and love lost as in your account of your college friend and the girl whose heart he broke.
However, one sure way of not finding true love is to hang on to a broken heart as that will stand in the way of finding true love with a new and better person.
Thanks again for your comment.
It is very hard to find as it is not common now. It exists in some cases but the number of such people is very less. My experience is as such that one of my college time friend ditched his girlfriend and married to some other rich girl. But his girl friend is still single and in love with him as her heart beats for him every time she recollects the moments spent with him.She is not able to forget him. God bless her.
the story about your uncle and aunt's love story makes me wanna weep. thank you for sharing it with us. it changed my mind about love. yes, true love does exist.
Love still exists in the heart of every one of us. It is just that we allow it to be hidden under other things we carry in life such as hatred and misgivings.
Wonderful Hub!
I believe true love does exist but many of us wind up stuck in the Eros phase and when that phase comes to an end we may feel like we have lost something major and often feel like we are no longer desirable or interesting to our partner. Probably because we are, programmed early on from books and movies that usually show only the Eros stage of love and end with “and they lived happily ever after.” So some of us run to find another fix of those great hormones and relive that same feeling over and over again, and then become disillusioned because we can’t seem to find “True love”.
Sad for us because if we hang in there and do make the transition to the Agape form we might discover that what we have then is so much more than we thought possible.
I choose to believe true love still exists. Without love there is nothing, and acts of love are of utmost importance. Thanks for the history and the great info.
Well Chuck it's ovious that you truly see how Love works, and I'm sure your living under it's umbreller, I believe Love is as magic as were willing to believe it is, thus it becomes what we make it. or How we apply it to our lives.
I like to read articals that make us think,feel and react. You have done all three for me for that I thank You.
Love is always true. Love may or may not exist in a relationship. Love may appear into or disappear from the relationship. But when it appears, whatever may its duration, it is always true.
Great Hub -
YES. TRUE LOVE EXISTS - if only our senses are sensitive enough to recognize it :)
Thanks for sharing :)
true love still exist, you can find true love with those that are committed to it.
This is beautiful, thanks for posting it. God bless you.
Great Topic, a great author, Rick Warren-A Purpose Driven Life,that a real fellowship, just like real realationships is about experiencing life together. It includes unselfish loving, comforting, they share their hurts, reveal their feelings, confess their failures, acknowledge weaknesses.ect... that is what true love consists of. When I first got married twenty years ago, I thought that my husband was my true love. Our sexual relationship was strong, we made it through many storms together. The thing that was missing was the sacrificial giving of ourselves to each other. The true comforting when I went through my five major surgies. Yes, we are still married, have three beautiful teenagers, but we don't sleep together anymore. We don't date, or spend time anymore, because now we just co-exist together in the same house. I saw it with his parents and I saw it with my parents. True love exists with Jesus Christ, he loves you unconditionally. Do I miss being touched like a woman should be touched and caressed? You bet, it is very lonely living in a empty marriage, but I know that God and Jesus love me just the way I am, for now I believe that is enough.
Absolutely!...I was married to an abusive man for 7 years when I was 20 years old. Four kids later I decide that there is no way that I could live like that so I got a divorce and it took me two years to get myself to the point where I can accept the fact that I am capable of loving someone again. My willingness to "try again" is what makes me believe that true love does exist. Just because I had a horrible experience in the past doesn't mean that I'm going to let bitterness keep me from meeting the love of my life.
I have a love for people, no matter what the relationship and by walking in that love for others I find that others will love you back. You only get out of a relationship what you put in...If you put in nothing, than you cannot expect to miraculously make something appear. I'm excited about falling in love, and look forward to spending the rest of my life with my one true love!
Thanks Chuck for that great hub...it really made me think about somethings.
Of course it does. Not all couples end up in unhappy divorces.
yes.it definitely does.i have no doubt about that.
I think that true love DEFINITELY exists... it always has and it always will.. the problem is so many people spend alot of their time looking for that one person that fits all the criteria of what they consider the "perfect" person so they pass up opportunities to meet the "right" person for them... I'm still madly in love with my boyfriend after 6 six years and I don't think I can ever imagine my life without him or with another person... I still recognize that there are attractive people out there but once I see the good things in them, I start thinking about the things that make me happy about my man =-) No one can ever compare to my guy.. but we were best friends before we were in a relationship... my aunt told me once that you should marry your best friend.. and I think I agree... a good friendship is a massive bond and evolving it into a relationship can only make it stronger in most cases... I found him once I stopped looking for that "perfect guy"... as soon as I stopped... he fell into my lap.. people should focus more on enjoying life and doing the things that make them happy.. it's doing the things you like that introduce you to other people who have the same interests.. and that could lead into something extremely rewarding.. whether it's a friend for life or your "true love" or like I said before.. it's your best friend that you realize later that IS your one and only.
Much truth, a detailed hub. Well expressed on the greatest of all things - true love. I have typed some thoughts on it too - from a different perspective, here: http://hubpages.com/hub/True-Lovers
chuck. i think love does still exist but you have to work for it just like a job. the reason im saying it is because you'll know if you love the person if you cant stand not being around that person but if your to comfortable its not going to work out cause the little things will annoy you. if the couple takes some time away and is not together 24 hours a day there still mystery in the romance cause once the mystery gone the romance is
Hi Chuck , I have to agree with you that people are blinded about the idea of true love, often times if its not a Romeo and Juliet plot it's not true love--- it is sad that people forget the fact that love is more than romance and passion.
I am glad that you took time to elaborate on that. On my opinion , people tend to ignore the fact that true love is simple and does exists , one should simply need to be sensitive enough to comprehend that life itself is love. That when you share your life with complete devotion and commitment whether it be towards your partner , your parents , your friend -- that is already true love. As long as there are people in this world -- definitely , TRUE LOVE STILL EXISTS !
Hi Chuck, lovely heart warming hub. I am very new to this hubbing business and it is good to see how one should be written. I am sitting here sniffing (starting a cold) but now with a warmth in my heart. Of course true love does exist but it is easy to think we have found it (because that is what we want) when actually we are projecting it on to the other person, and then are very surprised when they do not have the same feelings.
Hope this makes sense.
mikespec - thanks for you comments.
The really wonderful thing is that stories about my Great Aunt and Uncle's love and your Grandparent's love and how they showed it are not that uncommon. In both of these cases, and thousands like them, the couple faced extraordinary circumstances and rose to the occasion beautifully.
While these extraordinary actions are inspiring, they the culmination of a lifetime of little, and generally unnoticeable to all but the two lovers, actions expressing this love. In a previous Hub on love ( http://hubpages.com/hub/Saying_I_Love_You_with_Act ) I recounted an instance where my stepdaughter was suddenly taken ill in the night and, with no other place to go we had to take her to the ER. My wife and daughter were new to this country so I had to take charge and manage the situation. So, while I alerting our other two teenagers to where we were going and and getting my wife and daughter to the car, my wife took a moment while we were running out to grab a book I had been reading and take it with her knowing that my usual practice when going anyplace where we would have to sit and wait was to take reading material with me.
Thanks again.
Chuck
The story of your Great Uncle and Aunt closely resembled that of my Grandfather and Grandmother. I was always amazed by his resolve and ability to care for at home and at his work he was a Barber and took her with him to work for over 12 years he worked into his 90's. While he was being treated for Cancer My Grandmother died in a nursing home. My grandfather passed within the following year although he had recovered from the Cancer.
There are only a few sentences to express how love works.
Love can only succeed in a relationship when both people are willing to make it work. If there is a problem outside or beyond the couple, then it is up to the two in the relationship to make it work despite the interference of others.
Chuck, a absolutely wonderful hub. I have witnessed couples only a few in my lifetime that found true love. I myself have not given up. Having a soul mate that your heart is captive to keeps every day life in focus. Blessed are the couples that have each other. Thank you. You have a new fan.
I believe that true love is still there
How can you ask this question? "Does love still exist in today's time?" One can't gauge love of the past as being different or even existing. Stupid topic. You can't say "still" or "was" and "remember" because YOU were not there! You are here today and I've experienced love and I see it everyday. Very ignorant and useless topic, terrible... As a human, and as any human who even tries to understand the human condition, you will find love everywhere. Stupid. I don't know why I'm even commenting on this... Love is what keeps people living most of the time damn it.
I truly believe in True love and that it does exist. But it is very rare. There are also different types of true love...the True Romantic love of partners/Soul Mates...I know that exists because I have experienced it. And then I believe another type of True love is the unconditional love that we share for our children and/or family members..and sometimes dear friends. But like I said, its rare in the world we are living in today. Great hub!
Hey Chuck I'm new to this hub thing and i really appreciated your article on love i would like to spread the love and and also wanted u to show me some love by adding yourself as my friend on ur page....!
I think we are still capable of the love that was always there since the creation of time. I just think that our country has gotten so desensitized and cold, that sometimes it's hard for us to show any physical affection or emotional response without feeling like we're going to be punished for it.
I believe myself but it is not easy to find.
True can and does exist. Unfortunately, too many people don't know what love is, or are too selfish to share that kind of relationship.
Great hub!
I loved my husband very much. But people change and love can change and die too...
I believe in true love.
Thank you Chuck for great description of love and your inspiring family love story. I have similar examples of happy and also unhappy love story in my family. Love is here and stays here with us. Some anthropologists believe that human evolution has something to do with human bonding and love...
If you have time please visit me on my blogs:
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What a beautiful and inspiring hub. I am separated from my third husband at the moment, so my attitude toward love is currently that it has abandoned me.
I was touched by the story of your aunt and uncle. I would love to have someone who I could be so close with. It was an inspiring story that helps one to have hope that true love still exists!
Thanks!
Excellent analysis of LOVE. Most of us don't want the hurt and pain of falling in love. You open yourself up to hurt if it does not work out. I believe in true love. You have to be compatible with the person, not just wanting them. I will keep your ideas in mind when I fall in love again!
It all depends on what you believe and what experiences have made you worthy of love...
nice bro
true love exists even when they have never even met or even after death. I can only say from my experience that it is true
I enjoyed reading this very much--sorry, but I have to say that true love does not exist anymore these days. We are too transfixed on superficial blindness to even begin to understand the wealth of the human heart. True love is only a falsity. It is only two fools that happen on a misunderstanding.
Love Will Endure!
Nice hub, Love your theme. We are living and world is going. When love dies i don't think anybody will remain here.
"True Love Still Exists, We Just Have to Look for It", yeah i also think we just see negative part of relation, think much on contradictory topics. If we give much time for understanding each other, that will take more close to love.
Of course true love still exists!! I do think we need to slow and down and enjoy the relationships that we have and spend more time developing them.
Wonderful Chuck, Good article, If everyone in the world would now just believe in it. Or just remember that feeling when you first felt it, when you looked into her eye, your your whole body felt weird. Or when your dog or pet looks up at you when your petting him/her. Love, true love, unconditional love, first love, these are part of life, enjoy and don't miss out.
I hate to say that you should go out and look for true love. I found mine when I was least expecting it. If you are looking you are more likely to project your hopes on the relationship.
Hi! Chuck
Nice article. I feel that people mostly talk, write or present in media about not so true love because it is a bit odd behavior hence makes an interesting story. Otherwise silent majority is indeed generally in true love.
regards
Of course there are all kinds of love - so there are all kinds of true love - the thing that kills love, in my opinion, is expectations - when you EXPECT to be loved back in some particular way, you may get disappointed, but when you just give your natural love without expecting anything -you really LIVE LOVE! People have to be kind and good to each other in order for love to live - and that happens in many ways all the time. Even animals give and receive love - I've seen it - and they stay attached to each other as long as they can. So Peace gives Love, Love gives Joy and Joy makes life worth living! Thanks for your lovely writing!
I think true love exists today... I also think that it is harder to distinguish these days due to too many distractions in our every day life. True love exists with your children and Jesus. That's all anyone really needs anyway... anything else is just a bonus.
True love certainly exists. That excitement in the beginning is only the beginning, and when time turns the relationship into something like comfy slippers, that's true love. He's no longer Prince Charming, but you can't imagine life without that other person in it. He's the one that comes to mind when you want to share something from your day. It's maybe a little on the dull side, but excitement day after day -- that's hard to live with.
Of course it exists.
Love is totally subjective and comes in many different forms, that I believe certainly can't be placed in to three categories (eros, agape, philia). You just have to open your eyes to it, in order to find it.
This is a great article. I believe true love still exists today but because of so many distractions, some people sometimes find little time or no time at all to express true love to their love ones. True love does not come from only one party. It must be worked out from both the man and the woman. truly, this is such a good topic to write about. thanks for sharing, Chuck.
stuck in the middle - thanks for visiting and for your comment.
As to your question, it has always been my understanding/belief that eros is what attracts and brings people together and then agape love can develop if the couple chooses to work and develop it.
So, yes, I think that you can choose to create agape love and can develop it if you then work at developing it.
Chuck
Is it possible for eros love to transform into agape love? Before reading this article, I thought that i was falling out of love with my partner of two years because the initial feelings i felt towards him were like fireworks, it is not as explosive these days, but when faced with the possibility of life without him, I realised I still love him very much. So If its started like eros, can we create agape from it?
What a very nice hub. Thank you for it.
Sure True Love exists. And True Love is available for anyone to have. All you have to do is let yourself have it. (Life experience prompted the previous statement.) To me, it seems that many of us hold back on the things we want for one reason or another. Seldom do we just enjoy what is directly in front of us.
If we drop the materialism and not worry about how we may be perceived by others and just let love happen, I think that all of us will find that love is all around us. And maybe … just maybe, you will notice that someone has been directing love toward you.
Very interesting. I think anything outside of unconditional love really is a choice. People choose to give relationships a chance and choose to make it work every step of the way.It's all about the action that's initiated by the feeling and desire of love.
You have to accpet a person for who they are and sometimes that means looking past the small flaws. Sometimes people are to quick to call it quits in today's society and are seriously afraid of becoming somebody that settled.
I think one of the reasons for the older generation relationships lasting a lifetime is because of that, they truly worked on their relationships through the ups and downs and rarely just threw their hands up and said forget it. In regards to marriages, it's kind of accepted nowadays to just get divorced, and I think that's truly unfortunate.
If a couple has a strong enough desire and understands the work and sacrifice that is necessary, love can be a really beautiful thing.
Chuck,
You took a very touching and live topic to discuss on and presented it in a very open, optimistic way.
People may have varying view on this concept depending upon their style of thinking and experiences they had. Many would oppose and say there is nothing called true love. What I feel is, doubt arises when they have not experienced it in their lives. Neither giving nor taking. Another reason could be when they get betrayed. In the first case, they should wait for this miracle to happen in their life. In second case, if they think that they have loved truly but never get reciprocated, it proves that at least they are there as an example of true love.
No matter what, till we have emotions we will love---less or more, sooner or later.
Jennifer D - you summed this up perfectly.
Thanks for the great, and very enlightening, comment.
Chuck
Thanks for a well-written Hub, Chuck.
I have always believed that true love exists, and although I know I have the capabilities to love truly, I believe that both partners must show love in order for it to be true.
Love is not only a feeling, but it is also action; a feeling that you have towards a person is nothing if you don't follow through with showing them that you love them.
Unfortunately, I think that people often love on different levels, and I am not talking eros vs. philos here.
One can love another with so much depth that the other person just isn't capable of giving; or in my true opinion, wants to give.
I see so much selfishness in regards to love. I myself have loved unconditionally, only to be conditioned about the feelings and action that I would desperately receive.
Love will remain a hot topic in the future, and will always be on my mind: Does he love me as much as I love him? Does he love me half as much as I love him?
It is all displayed in the words and actions expressed.
thank you for that wonderful reminder of true love. the story of your uncle and aunt is so tender and touching...what a wonderful testimony to enduring faithfulness. as a young person in a relationship, it can be very depressing to see so many in our culture divorcing left and right and espousing the claim that marriage is outdated and unnecessary. i agree completely with your focus on eros love - love today has become much more about satisfying desire than about commitment to one person. true love embodies agape, eros, and philos through service and faithfulness.
thank for these enduring truths.
Chuck,
This is Great and quite interesting! One should really think about what life is all about? Does TRUE LOVE still exist! Hmmmm, Yes it does! God is LOVE and He is eternal! Love is patient, kind and... I can also say after all these years I LOVE my husband even more. We continue to challenge one another and build a quality relationship and this is our 38th year of marriage! I think marriage should be tended like a precious garden and appreciated, like a fine antique get better and more valuable with age! Thank You, Blessings
I seem to wonder that alot myself. Is there still true love out there? Does it take a life time to find it? Will you find it before you pass to another life? I wonder!
there is no tru love in this world
abentley - thanks for your comment.
I wrote this Hub in response to a request and had the impression from the wording of the request that the person requesting felt that true love was dying out or is not compatible in the present age.
The angle that I tried to present was that love still exists but that many of us are blinded by current society's emphasis on romance and don't notice the many examples of true love that are all around us.
This is why I devoted so much space to the definitions of love. I wasn't trying to get into a deep philosophical or religious presentation (although both are important in this area and have much to offer to the discussion) but to show that the definition of love is more than just romance (which is great but still not the whole picture) and, once we begin to look at love in within this broader definition, we can see true love all around us.
Hopefully, seeing true love in this manner will help more people to find it. Of course, like anything else in life, true love does require work and commitment.
Chuck
I strongly believe that true love exist among people even in the new generation. Love is eternal and it is never perishable. I think Love is always there around us, but it we who fail to identify it. It is the love that helps us to grow stronger. Just be yourself and love without any jealously or partiality. I assure that you will get the true love in your life.
Legacy Wellness - Congratulations to you and your wife on your upcoming 40th anniversary.
wow ! I'm nearing 50, unhappily married and still wondering what the hell happened to me.
Great HUB. I vote for the AGAPE type. By the way my wife and I will celebrate our 40th anniversary in November. She is and always has been - The LOVE of my life!
like one commenter made, it is hard to exist in a mdoern bustling city but in the far out burbs and countryside it probably thrives more. I believe the Philia area is more evident in the metropolis
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Nice post Chuck! Of course it exists!
and to Vizey: i bet you also want to believe it exists. the reason why you think it does not, is because you are sacrificed and compromised by the society rather than your own heart.
Hey Chuck, this Hub is right up my alley. I know true love as I am truly in love. I met and fell in love with my beautiful wife when I was 14 years old. 9 years later we were married and began a family together about a year later. There isn't a day that goes by that I am not completely grateful to have her to share my life with. She gets more beautiful every day and is the sweetest, kindest soul I have ever met. Our life isn't perfect and we have our differences from time to time. But my love and commitment to her is so strong, I could never see my life without her there.
I feel bad for people like Vizey who says true love doesn't exist. But let me reassure you, true love does still exist in our lives and I am living proof. The only motive or reward I get is being able to see that beautiful face every morning when I wake up. Yes, there is give and take in life, but when you're in love, it's just love.
Hey Chuck Nice topic you have chosen "True Love". well I dont think today there exist any true love. I this fast moving world where we live on "Give and Take" Relationship it is impossible for anyone to do sacrifice for his/her beloved without any motive or reward!!!!
chuck, really informative hub for people who haven't studied love and the three types.
once when I was a flight Attendant, I had prayed and asked God to let me feel His love for people. This happened when I least expected it. I was on a busy flight. One passenger wanted his change back from us. We were so busy, we kept forgetting his change. The other flight Attendant gave me some nickles and dimes to pay him back, she was very irritated with the man. I leaned over to give him the change and instantaneously this overwhelming love just poured from my heart. I was crying I loved him so much, I appologized that it had taken us a while to give him back the change. He could see it. He was stunned, he knew I loved him and was so touched. It was a supernatural moment for me. I've yet to love anyone to the extent I loved that man in that 2 to 3 minutes. I'm sure I couldn't love to the extent God loves us in this human body but I came as close to it as we can here in these bodies. Gods love is not in these 3 definitions. He loves us unconditionally and is not partial. He has so much compassion, as heknows us so completely knowing all of our secrets. This was an experience I will never forget. I can't remember the mans face but I remember the expression on his face as he saw unconditional love, pure love eminating from my eyes. He was startled and appologized for harassing us so. God is so faithful! Every time I have prayed for an experience with Him He has done great and mighty things! I love my husband with Agape love and thats great! But, Gods' love is millions of times greater than we can possibly love. And He loves each of us with that great love!
Chuck, thank you for a beautifully written Hub on my favorite topic, love. And true love at that. May we never stop striving for it but may we stop, see in our moment just what we already have. Bless.
Chuck, thanks for this survey of conventional views of love. To me, true love does not mean eros, agape or philia. Love is not a relationship -- it is a feeling. To me, true love means limerence, and it does not depend on reciprocation for its existence.
Sasha 6 weeks ago
True Love does exist! Beautifully written article too. May I humbly suggest you check out http://penmyprofile.com where we are making real love happen! Good work Chuck! x